However, everyone felt envy and has wished to be at the other. There’s hardly anyone over the head of which are not thoughts flit like – “why not me?”; Why he, not I, I’m better, I deserve “; it is not fair to have everything, and I – nothing … “etc. etc.
Overwhelms our indignation against the “injustice” and begin to feel deprived, robbed, rejected unhappy.
Simple envy for what many would like to have and we feel the absence. That others receive it and we – we do not cause suffering.
Also rather envy those who are around us, near us and that we believe are of and about “our level”. If a scientist from America received the award, will hardly envy him – first because this award does not concern us, we do not strive for that, and his happiness is not threatening us. Of a successful person who has received widespread recognition, we can admire, to emulate him and even turn it into our image, but in a completely different way will there is the question if this person is our neighbor, colleague, friend. Until recently he was like us, and suddenly grabs anything and it threatens to displace us, to take “our”.
Envy lot like jealousy, except that when there is always jealousy and third person.
Often asked me – “if envy, does this mean I’m a bad person?”
I would not say that a man who envies is bad. Envy is more like pain, illness, which is more destructive of the very jealous. If not overcome jealousy may reach enormous size and cause much suffering.
Behind jealousy stands a man who longs for happiness, love and recognition, but the pain, fear, sense of failure and insecurity make him feel anger and hatred.
Jealousy can be active or passive .
In active form, is filled with envious hatred of “rival” in any way trying to hurt him and make him suffer. Constantly think how to take the other what is in excess. Began curses against him and distort reality – hardly achieved this in an honest way, who knows what things he did to get there;
to downplay his success, although internal frets – is a big deal, it has achieved this;
or deny: “I do not know why everyone says it is beautiful. She is so ugly, certainly do magic for men … “
In the passive envy the man outside can show joy over the success of others, but inwardly suffering and indignation. As for the other one is happier, the more unhappy and void starts to feel it. Samosazhalyava is his confidence and his desire for expression and development fell sharply. On top begins to blame it feels envy, thinking that a bad man. And it starts to force to please others, but somehow he could not give. Will be to see a miserable person to feel better.
In both cases, however, is equally poisonous envy for envy.
There is another kind of envy – the so-called noble envy . It is recognized envy when you say – “yes, I envy you for getting so much attention and achieved such success, so I’d like to do it.” But in this case, only the recognition of true feelings, makes them less painful. Moreover – in these cases, envy is as an incentive to achieve and you that.
How to overcome jealousy and enjoy the happiness of others?
- Acknowledge your true feelings – if not to man,
- Discover the reasons that cause you the most jealous.
Another common cause is the feeling of failure . You suffer, you do not have anything, and now that your friend gets it and it is even in excess. And your sense of absence is even more … why change the focus from what you lack to what you have and be thankful for it. Give an account that you focus on only one aspect of life and see things. Surely you have many things that he did not. Surely many people would like to have your exact location. Surely you have your own reasons to feel happy and worthy.
- Do not compare with others . This is the main reason
- Focus on their strengths .
- Focus on yourself and your development and not for others.
Allow yourself to be happy .
When you are confident and sure of yourself when you have your priorities and goals and enjoy life, the success of others will not scare you.
- Change your attitude toward what experience.
Share your opinion about envy and ways of tackling in.
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