07 July, 2011

HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY?

Jealousy is suffering because of the success of others or what they have, and we – no. It is highly destructive feeling, which often grows from hidden resentment to anger, hatred and aggression. Envy is defined as a defect, but the Bible mentions as one of the seven deadly sins. “Dog in the manger” is association with evil, vile man, able to stab in the back of his friend.

However, everyone felt envy and has wished to be at the other. There’s hardly anyone over the head of which are not thoughts flit like – “why not me?”; Why he, not I, I’m better, I deserve “; it is not fair to have everything, and I – nothing … “etc. etc.
Overwhelms our indignation against the “injustice” and begin to feel deprived, robbed, rejected unhappy.
Simple envy for what many would like to have and we feel the absence. That others receive it and we – we do not cause suffering.
Also rather envy those who are around us, near us and that we believe are of and about “our level”. If a scientist from America received the award, will hardly envy him – first because this award does not concern us, we do not strive for that, and his happiness is not threatening us. Of a successful person who has received widespread recognition, we can admire, to emulate him and even turn it into our image, but in a completely different way will there is the question if this person is our neighbor, colleague, friend. Until recently he was like us, and suddenly grabs anything and it threatens to displace us, to take “our”.
Envy lot like jealousy, except that when there is always jealousy and third person.
Often asked me – “if envy, does this mean I’m a bad person?”
I would not say that a man who envies is bad. Envy is more like pain, illness, which is more destructive of the very jealous. If not overcome jealousy may reach enormous size and cause much suffering.
Behind jealousy stands a man who longs for happiness, love and recognition, but the pain, fear, sense of failure and insecurity make him feel anger and hatred.
Jealousy can be active or passive .
In active form, is filled with envious hatred of “rival” in any way trying to hurt him and make him suffer. Constantly think how to take the other what is in excess. Began curses against him and distort reality – hardly achieved this in an honest way, who knows what things he did to get there;
to downplay his success, although internal frets – is a big deal, it has achieved this;
or deny: “I do not know why everyone says it is beautiful. She is so ugly, certainly do magic for men … “
In the passive envy the man outside can show joy over the success of others, but inwardly suffering and indignation. As for the other one is happier, the more unhappy and void starts to feel it. Samosazhalyava is his confidence and his desire for expression and development fell sharply. On top begins to blame it feels envy, thinking that a bad man. And it starts to force to please others, but somehow he could not give. Will be to see a miserable person to feel better.
In both cases, however, is equally poisonous envy for envy.
There is another kind of envy – the so-called noble envy . It is recognized envy when you say – “yes, I envy you for getting so much attention and achieved such success, so I’d like to do it.” But in this case, only the recognition of true feelings, makes them less painful. Moreover – in these cases, envy is as an incentive to achieve and you that.

How to overcome jealousy and enjoy the happiness of others?

  • Acknowledge your true feelings – if not to man,
who covet it to yourself. People usually deny that envy. They are more likely to say they hate “the enemy” and spat at him than to admit that his envy. You do not really hate this guy, just really would like to have what he has and feel pain that turns into anger. To overcome this, we must first acknowledge your feelings. Do not blame, and consider what makes you envy, what makes you feel threatened, where they feel a lack in their lives.
  • Discover the reasons that cause you the most jealous.
Usually it is the fear that you will take anything that will shift and will stay in the background.Know that no one can take you what is yours. In the world there is room for everyone and everything. When you envy, you yourself let a strength and not allow themselves to be happy.
Another common cause is the feeling of failure . You suffer, you do not have anything, and now that your friend gets it and it is even in excess. And your sense of absence is even more … why change the focus from what you lack to what you have and be thankful for it. Give an account that you focus on only one aspect of life and see things. Surely you have many things that he did not. Surely many people would like to have your exact location. Surely you have your own reasons to feel happy and worthy.
  • Do not compare with others . This is the main reason
that people envy. “He has a nice car,” she is more beautiful, “he has more. Do not measure happiness and success to others. Everyone has his own way, their successes and failures.Furthermore, you see only the external – for example, that he has a nice car, but do not see that it suffers because it alone until you have a wonderful family.
  • Focus on their strengths .
You may not have a body like your girlfriend, but you have beautiful eyes and charming smile, have your own qualities and skills that make you unique and unforgettable. You may not have much money as your neighbor, but you have friends, children, health, which are more expensive than all the riches of the world.
  • Focus on yourself and your development and not for others.
Live your life and stop foreign track. Do not think what has made other, and what you have accomplished. Illusion to think that if “your opponent” has been unsuccessful, you will be happier.Your happiness depends on yourself, not by others. So throw fruitless efforts to disrupt others’ happiness or to suffer because of the success of people. Head to their development, rather than defeating the foreign made.
Allow yourself to be happy .
When you are confident and sure of yourself when you have your priorities and goals and enjoy life, the success of others will not scare you.
  • Change your attitude toward what experience.
Instead of blaming that envy and wallowing in self pity, use envy as an incentive for you to achieve success. Once man was able to you, you and you. Instead of torture, you can learn something from him.
Share your opinion about envy and ways of tackling in.
The theme of this article I was proposed by you – the readers of this site. So I would be glad if you share what else would you like to read and discuss.
this artcle is taken from a website(http://newton007.com/article/overcome-jealousy/)
................................................ FAISAL
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